2005-11-03 - 5:50 p.m.
on a brighter note... i got all A's in my Niagara University classes, and my William Smith diploma came in the mail. it's all in Latin, and I can't read a word... but i'm a
COLLEGE GRADUATE.
2005-11-03 - 5:10 p.m.
i've banished myself, for at least 10 years, from the joys of owning fish.
the last two, Otro and Thai, both lost their lives in a 24-hour span. was it the water? the new rocks? or was it just "their time"? Thai was sick, I expected he'd go before Otro, so damn was I surprised to walk into the kitchen and find Otro dead on his side. He'd eaten his breakfast, even played with his mirror (Thai by then was too sick to do much more than sit on the bottom of the tank and breathe).
Thai suffered in a half-dead state, mourning over his lost friend before Ana humanely surrendered him to the Porcelain Tank (no, I just couldn't). I held my breath until I heard the toilet flush, until I knew my dear little friend had been washed away to a better place.
I'm reminded of a sad episode of some cartoon where the goldfish, long since (thought) dead, was found in the sewers, bigger than most men, and mad as hell at having been flushed. Though I'd like to imagine my little betta growing and coming to seek revenge on me, I know he was too sick and the sewer system too dirty for him to survive.
The weirdest part of the dying fish was that, tuesday morning (the day Otro died; Thai died on wednesday) I had a strange dream about this flat, sea-weedy little oceanic creature that I'd had in my fish tank who, with a knowing look, hopped himself out of his tank and started to squirm around on the floor. i eventually captured the little guy and got him back into water, but i couldn't shake the idea that he looked a lot like a sideways, dead fish.
and then, my fish died.
Other than that, I'm having a crappy, wrong-side-of-the-bed kinda day. Finally getting over my bronchial infection, but I'm tired and don't feel like doing, or being anything today. i don't want to take calls, or any of the other work related things i should be doing. if i could be doing anything right now, i'd be astrally-projecting myself to the homes of friends I haven't seen or spoken with in forever-- you know who you are, and i'm sorry.
that's it-- that's how i feel today, just freakin sorry.
2005-03-01 - 10:00 a.m.
i thought that since my shakespeare class was cancelled, i'd pop by the student union-type building that is gallagher hall, get myself a mocha cappucino, and lo and behold, i found myself a public computer! i checked my email, laughed at the $3 balance on my credit card, and then i thought, hmm, maybe i should update the poor souls whose only reference to my pathetic life is this sad, forgotten blog.
so clearly, i'm going to NU this semester. taking 3 of the 5 courses i need to complete my HWS degree-- shakespeare, modern british poetry, and american literature.
american lit is my least favorite class right now, even though shakespeare should be, since it's supposed to be my hardest class. and, well, it is, but i have to struggle more in american lit to get a decent grade, thanks to the damned midterm. the professor gave us a total of 5 essay questions, which she calls "short answer" because they're only supposed to be 2 paragraphs, 6 or seven sentences a piece. well, she wanted 6 or 7 specific examples, explanations, etc for each essay-- how am i, a verbose literature major who does an exceptional job of detailing and explaining myself, supposed to write 5 of these essays in ***50*** minutes?! as it took me a long paragraph just to explain the thing, surely, i am unable to write the way she wants me to, and i completed 3 1/2 of the 5 essays. when i told the prof as much after class, she told me that if i needed help writing more concisely, to go see her. THAT is not what i wanted to hear. i don't need help writing concisely. i don't NEED to write that way. my style of writing is just fine. it's gotten me this far, i'll be damned if i'll change the way i write for a 200 level class at a college i didn't have any designs on attending anyway. and i'm an ENLISH major-- of course i'm going to write a lot on something i'm extremely familiar with. one would think she'd be interested in what we think about the topics we're writing on. not so, apparently-- she'd rather we regurgutate the things she's been repeating for weeks, and do it a whole lot quicker and shorter, and without redundancy, than she does. so i'll get an awful grade, because i knew too much on the topics i was writing. completely unfair to me, as the people who never did the readings, who only barely knew what she said in class, will get a better grade than i, because they clearly didn't have as much to write about. screw that.
at least my british poetry professor gave us an hour and twenty minutes to complete our exams. i finished, and i got raving remarks scattered throughout the little exam booklet, as well as (of course) the 'A' i deserved.
work is, well it's still work. pays the bills, when we go. ana's got a dr's appointment today, to see the knee doctor after falling at work and hurting herself. i'm gonna miss her all day.
also. i miss you, dear readers. all excuses aside, i've been a crappy, neglectful friend. and i'm sorry. i've been meaning and meaning to catch up, to write emails or letters, as the phone is a daunting and evil instrument. but i think of you often.
that's all for now-- much more to do!
2004-12-03 - 4:32 p.m.
sorry i don't have much to say about jury duty today.
i had to get up way too early, poor ana was sick, i wish i could have stayed home to take care of her, but she had to go to work, and i couldn't afford to be fined a grand for not appearing at the jury assembly room.
ended up getting there a little early, which i suppose was good because i had to use the facilities. sat down. read. read. read. peed. read. read. peed. (i had a big cup of coffee this morning) read read read, stretched my neck and back out. read read read read. talked to ana on her break. stretched. read. read. read read read read checked the time stretched read read read read read read read stretched, checked the time read read read read read read listened as they called 20 other names read read read read-- stretched read read read read read read. read stretched read read. read checked the time read read read read stretched read, read read read read read read stretched read read listened as they called 20 other names checked the time read peed read. read read read read read read read read read. read stretched read read. read read read read read listened as they called 20 other names read read. read read read read read read read read read. read stretched checked the time, read read. read read read read read read read read listened as they called 20 other names, then mine, then i suppose a couple more.
we all got sent to a jury selection room, but not told specifically where to sit, which i suppose most of us were thinking, and a couple said aloud, was weird, since they had done so when we were being sorted for juror or non-juror before. no lawyers or judge in the room, another sign. we were going HOME! just about 12:30 in the afternoon. great! i'd be home in an hour or so.
the bus schedule for the grand island bus screws me every time. i missed the bus yesterday when they let us out at 3:30, the bus came at 3:25. so i waited outside in the bitter wind for an hour for the 4:23 bus. today, the bus came at 12:23. the next? 1:58. helluva wait.
since i had some time to kill, i meandered my way through the dollar store at the mainplace mall, which reeked of the cheapest nag champa incense and trashiest of buffalo. but i did score 2 vacuum bags, a box of lipton 100% peppermint tea, written 100% in spanish, a bottle of each pure orange and anise extract, *just* in time for christmas cookies! who cares if it's spice bouquet brand and the orange extract is 92% alcohol. i also got a box of altoids chewing gum. all this, and a cheery little shopping spree for me through a tiny packed little dollar store, for five dollars and seventeen cents. a bargain.
got out of there and checked the time-- 1:08. great, i thought, just another 50 minutes til i catch my bus. what's a girl to do? i walked down delaware to spot coffee. warmed myself up with their timeless roast, talked with Ana at 1:30, then ducked out of spot, all the buffalo free publications in hand, and walked down chippewa to niagara, since it just seemed easier than walking back up and around niagara square to catch the bus that way. so i turned right and walked down to the judge somebody or other kaleida health clinic, and waited 10 minutes or so for the bus to come. how happy was i when the 40 came into view?
i was a thousand times more upset when the driver looked at me standing at the stop, right in front of the sign, and kept going. the next light was red, i ran as much as i could, trying to catch up with the jerk. with my awful foot problems, it didn't last long, and he took off down the road.
i was so mad i almost burst into tears, which has happened occassionally. i just kept on walking, quite a few blocks up the road, until my foot was screaming for me to stop (i've got a heel spur, and plantar fasciitis, and god only knows what else by now) and i stopped at some random white building and rummaged through my purse for a good 10 minutes, getting angrier and angrier that i couldn't find my bus schedule.
i gave up and just happened to glance at my dollar store bag-- and saw the bus schedule through the thin plastic. i tore the bag open to check when the next bus would be coming down the road--not until 2:45.
so, i spent another 45 minutes outside in the freezing cold. i absorbed a little time by walking down the way a bit more-- i figure, the further i walk, the less time i have to spend on the bus, right? and before i knew it i was at maryland and niagara, standing in front of a storefront that looked like it might sell things, someday, if it weren't barred up. there were a couple fun games in the window, one of which was a 50th anniversary edition of clue. i forget what the others were.
across the street, i got to stare at mcdonald's, to my left the downtown buffalo skyline. to my right was a ghetto tops. and i waited and waited and i called Ana in the training room to complain, and waited, and waited and waited and waited. and i waited, and waited and watched a 5 bus pass and waited and and i waited and waited and watched another 5 pass and waited and waited. and finally, my Arabian knight in NFTA armor came to my rescue, and stopped his bus for me.
the woman across from me on the bus seemed to be praying on her Seneca Casino players card bungee cord. that was interesting, i enjoyed watching, since her rings were large beautiful silver masterpieces, and she had 8 of them.
i got dropped off at the getty and walked the couple extra-long grand island blocks home. azzy was asleep under the tree, and cody was licking his paws on his own bed, not ours.
i'm so happy to be home.
2004-09-13 - 2:10 p.m.
well, since the ENT doctor is running 2 hours behind schedule, it's stupid for me to go sit there... so i'll sit here, and update all you lovely people on the happenings in my life....
i quit teletech friday, 5 1/2 months of that crap was more than enough for me. i've seen enough of niagara falls... not the tourist-y crap, though i've had enough of that too-- but the real falls, the trashy people who've lived too long next to Garbage Mountain, drinking Love Canal from their faucets. and it's not even that, that makes them so horrible- certainly it's got plenty to do with it, but there's just a problem of the way they were raised and educated, the values instilled in people these days just seem warped and capitalistic... such is society, we can't escape it. even the communes we so desperately want to flee to still need to produce enough to sell for things they can't on their own produce, tools and computer parts...
i ramble because i don't have the typing capabilities to type as i think. that would be a great invention, to hook something up to my brain so that i wouldn't have to type it out, i'd just think and my journal would be written. even the talk-out-loud typing things aren't good enough, i don't really want to talk to my computer. i'd much rather think.
if you're in the mood for a brain-twister, go to bibliomania.com, look for Lewis Carroll's Knots. they're literary, and mathematical. good times.
happy to be beginning to work at ACS with Ana. more time to spend together, and weekends and holidays off! not to mention, another dollar an hour, and no stupid teletech crap!
hooray for me.
2004-09-08 - 3:18 p.m.
$56 to replace a $3 piece of tubing.
hmm.
2004-09-08 - 3:17 p.m.
today's horoscope:
greener pastures may beckon. if they do, and if you have researched them thoroughly and have determined that they are truly an improvement over existing circumstances, sayonara and hasta la vista, baby.
only 2 days more at teletech. :-D
2004-09-07 - 3:16 p.m.
my horoscope for today:
crappy-corn:
be considerate of others' issues, but don't ignore your requirements to facilitate theirs. as always, there is a balance between being an autocrat and being a doormat, and your assignment is to find it.
2004-08-19 - 10:48 a.m.
Did you ever wonder how much it costs a drug company for the active
Ingredient in prescription medications? Some people think it must cost
a
lot, since many drugs sell for a lot opf money by the tablet. As we
have
revealed in past issues of Life Extension, a significant percentage of
drugs
sold in the United States contain active ingredients made in other
countries.
In our independent investigation of how much profit drug companies
really
make, we obtained the actual price of active ingredients used in some
of the
most popular drugs sold in America. The chart below speaks for itself.
Celebrex 100 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $130.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.60
Percent markup: 21,712%
Claritin 10 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $215.17
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.71
P! ercent markup: 30,306%
Keflex 250 mg
Consumer Price (100 tab lets): $157.39
Cost of general! active ingredients: $1.88
Percent markup: 8,372%
Lipitor 20 mg
Consumer Price (100 tablets): $272.37
Cost of general active ingredients: $5.80
Percent markup: 4,696%
Norvasc 10 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $188.29
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.14
Percent markup: 134,493%
Paxil 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $220.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $7.60
Percent markup: 2,898%
Prevacid 30 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $44.77
Cost of general active ingredients: $1.01
Percent markup: 34,136%
Prilosec 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $360.97
Cost of general active ingredients $0.52
Percent markup: 69,417%
Prozac 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) : $247.47
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.11
Percent markup: 224,973%
Tenormin 50 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $104.47
Cost of general active ingredients:! $0.13
Percent markup: 80,362%
Vasotec 10 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $102.37
Cost! of general active ingredients: $0.20
Percent markup: 51,185%
Xanax 1 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) : $136.79
Cost of general active ingredients: $0.024
Percent markup: 569,958%
Zestril 20 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets) $89.89
Cost of general active ingredients $3.20
Percent markup: 2,809%
Zithromax 600 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $1,482.19
Cost of general active ingredients: $18.78
Percent markup: 7,892%
Zocor 40 mg
Consumer price (100 tablets): $350.27
Cost of general active ingredients: $8.63
Percent markup: 4,059%
Zoloft 50 mg
Consumer price: $206.87
Cost of general active ingredients: $1.75
Percent markup: 11,821%
Since the cost of prescription drugs is so outrageous, I thought
everyone I
knew should know about this. Please read the following and pass it on.
It
pays to shop around. This helps to solve the mystery as to why they can
afford to put a Walgreens on every corner.
On Monday night, Steve Wilson, an investigative reporter for channel 7
News
in Detroit, did a story on generic drug price gouging by pharmacies. He
found in his investigation, that some of these generic drugs were
marked up
as much as 3,000% or more. Yes, that's not a typo.....three thousand
percent!
So often, we blame the drug companies for the high cost of drugs, and
usually rightfully so. But in this case, the fault clearly lies with
the
pharmacies themselves. For example, if you had to buy a prescription
drug,
and bought the name brand, you might pay $100 for 100 pills. The
pharmacist
might tell you that if you get the generic equivalent, they would only
cost
$80, making you think you are "saving" $20. What the pharmacist is not
telling you is that those 100 generic pills may have only cost him $10!
At the end of the report, one of the anchors asked Mr. Wilson whether
or not
there were any pharmacies that did not adhere to this practice, and he
said
that Costco consistently charged little over their cost for the generic
drugs. I went to the Costco site, where you can look up any drug, and
get
its online price. It says that the in-store prices are consistent with
the
online prices. I was appalled.
Just to give you one example from my own experience, I had to use the
drug,
Compazine, which helps prevent nausea in chemo patients. I used the
generic
equivalent, which cost $54.99 for 60 pills at CVS. I checked the price
at
Costco, and I could have bought 100 pills for $19.89. For 145 of my
pain
pills, I paid $72.57. I could have got 150 at Costco for $28.08. I
would
like to mention, that although Costco is a "membership" type store, you
do
NOT have to be a member to buy prescriptions there, as it is a
federally
regulated substance. You just tell them at the door that you wish to
use the
pharmacy, and they will let you in (this is true, I went there this
past
Thursday and asked them).
I am asking each of you to please help me by copying this letter, and
pasting it into your own email, and send it to everyone you know with
an
email address.
Sharon L. Davis
Budget Analyst
U.S. Department of Commerce
Room 6839
Office Ph: 202-482-4458
Office Fax: 202-482-5480
Email Address: sdavis@doc.gov
2004-08-19 - 10:47 a.m.
Motivation is very important, and thus my simple religion is love, respect for others, honesty: teachings that cover not only religion but also the fields of politics, economics, business, science, law, medicine-everywhere. With proper motivation these can help humanity…
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama
2004-08-04 - 9:45 a.m.
i've been a terrible friend, a terrible girlfriend, i've been mean and/or ignoring people and their needs, i've been so caught up in what's going on in my life and what i think is best for the rest of the world, my listening skills have left something to be desired lately, wishing i could take back some mean things i've said to others, about others-- wishing i could say a lot more and a lot less, wishing i could remember how to be a better listener...
random psychobabble to most, i'm sure. but to those of you i've said harsh things to lately, i'm sorry. to those i haven't spoken to in a while at all-- i'm sorry for that too, but be glad you're not in the former catagory... ?
i'm sorry, and i love you.
2004-07-27 - 1:51 p.m.
ana taught me last nite how to play chess... i lost, of course, but i think i did an ok job for my first time playing... i want to practice but i'm afraid of playing against anyone online and losing so horribly i'll have to delete that screen name and create another in order to keep practicing...
daisy fresh came by and cleaned our carpets, no more dog poop from the pits across the hall ground into our rugs, courtesy of the town hall rental office, they paid to have our carpets cleaned. yay! still damp, but not dirty anymore...
azzy's a piss pot. she peed in her catnip box. i'm hoping it was just because she got mad i was giving her pinches of 'nip instead of extra food, and decided to rebel. now she's got no box, and no nip... she'll have to wait til we go to aldi's again for another... won't be long... hopefully it was a 1 time deal, or she's gonna have to pay a visit to the guy i always wanted to be-- the vet.
<~^*^~>
2004-07-23 - 10:10 a.m.
sick. i hate being sick. i feel like i'm doing as much as i can about it, sleeping and doping myself up on anything i can think of... bill was kind enough to donate a bottle of wine last nite to help me sleep-- the second in a week!-- and boy, did i get a good nite's sleep! i woke up officially this morning to the ramones' pet sematary playing on my phone, telling me i had a message, i was terribly confused and distraught, having no idea where the message was from, thinking it was later than it was, thinking ana was already at work and text msg'ing me, but no, it was jkharris, who have tried 300 times to reach me at 10 am, but since i'm always working i can't answer, so they decided to try at 8 instead... but me in my portuguese wine-induced stupor didn't hear it ring, just woke up to ramones... of course, ana was still here at that point, my ears are just so full and infected, i can't hear.
rambling about stupid things. yep. time for some nyquil and some sleep. yay!
2004-07-21 - 10:03 a.m.
yesterday was fun! i cleaned, i scrubbed, took a shower, marshie and cara came over, we watched jeopardy, we smoked, we played the longest, most distracted game of simpson's clue whatsoever... good times tho, can't wait to do it again sometime... soon!
as they were leaving, marsh yelled "pot brownies" rather loudly in our parking lot, nosy old neighbor Bill was sitting out on his porch, knowing him, all eyes were on us... marsh and cara left, we took cody around the yard so he could do his thang, and we went back to the building, we figured we'd have to have a lil conversation, but Bill was gone-- phew! into the building we go, and boom! Ana runs smack into Bill, who'd gone into our building, looking for us! pile of dog biscuits in one hand, bottle of portuguese red wine in the other-- good guy, that Bill! cody ate the biscuits, ana and i drank the wine. good stuff, too, i'll have to thank him for it later... ana went to sleep, i stayed up a while, can't remember doing anything other than eating some Life cereal and cotton candy, and doing my best to fall asleep... and i guess it eventually happened, because i woke up this morning.
2004-07-14 - 11:44 a.m.
why is it, people who don't clean their fishies tanks for MONTHS still have healthy, happy fish... but i, i clean the tank every freakin week, make sure he's got plenty of salt, dechlorinator, and the best medicine in the world for his fin rot... and my fishies die?
rest in peace, Qarl, and now Beau... all drains lead to the ocean, guys, and now you're swimming together...
excuse me while i sob...
2004-07-09 - 9:25 p.m.
You are ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? Though you may
not have peed your pants, you sure as hell feel
like you are going to sometimes. Are you a
pussy? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Which old school Nickelodeon show are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
2004-07-06 - 7:20 p.m.
new page! my horoscope for today:
if those around you are behaving erratically, you can either ignore them or sit down and insist that they stop. neither approach will be particularly effective, but at least you'll feel as if you've done something.
this doesn't make me feel better about Ana's road rage. she worries me, and she promised me she'll stop...
damn the horoscope. i'm still worried.
